Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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