Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
