Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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