Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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