No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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