Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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