In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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