Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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