You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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