Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
