I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
