I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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