Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
