If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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