did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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