hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
