Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im holly from the hills drunk
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
