EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
