She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It was like getting head from an anaconda
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
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