In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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