I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
