Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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