I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
