the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
