super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
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Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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