I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
