I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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