i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
