A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
