Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
