you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
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