hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
