as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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