STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
