I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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