My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's never too late to be topless.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
