He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
