what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
