that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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