oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
