By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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