Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
