Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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