I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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