I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
