youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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