I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
