I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
