how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you made out with another girl for some wings
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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