so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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