I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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