That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
