you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
