idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
