i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
