so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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