In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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