im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
