I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
