Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
