college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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