Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So squirting runs in the family.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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