so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
